koalatea:

true life: people like my hair more than they like me

(via highoffthelights)

My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother
BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
Grandma: What?
BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.

heartcramp:

Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.

But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.

(via everythingyoudoissuperfuckincute)

+